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 :: How does being UN-employed make you so busy? :: (999 Reads)

Posted by Dean on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 05:22 PM

Wow, looking at the counter on this site, it says I've been unemployed for 128 days. That's crazy. I don't know if its fully accurate in that I've been doing a lot of freelance type work, but I have been without a full-time salaried position during that time. now that I take a breath, I am amazed at all the things that i don't know how they got done while I was working full-time, and appreciate the miracle that is my wife all the more every moment. I mean, laundry, house cleaning, food prep and purchase, negotiating the kids' schedule, and trying to find time to do "real work," is insane. Now, like I said, I'll admit that on top of that I'm writing & rewriting resumes and letters of intent, and calling potential employers which takes a surprisingly huge amount of time. As does the interview process. As does the freelancing thing, where a large amount of time such as travel and preps get forgotten about when you schedule them..
I have to say that this time has been a mixed blessing. I have been forced to reevaluate myself and my identity- my job is not who I am; which was a huge trauma for me, since that's how I conceived of myself. But now I realize that first and foremost, I am a husband and father. I am a son and son-in-law and brother and uncle. My family has been so overwhelmingly supportive and I will never be able to express my gratitude. Plus, the time I have been able to spend with my kids, to actually be involved in their lives- has been wonderful. I actually play ring-around-the-rosey with the youngest recently.. and it was upsetting to realize I hadn't done it before. I almost missed the chance. I've been there when the eldest learned to ride her two-wheeler bicycle, and listened to the stories she's reading, and seen them do some amazing things. I'm thankful for the chance to do it.

Honestly, I think I would be quite happy as a house-husband/father if the wife earned enough to support us... if it weren't for the innate need to be fiscally independent from parents and in-laws... I believe I could move past this norm of 'man must be the primary wage earner'.. but we're not there (unless any billionaires out there want to write a grant that will allow me to be a better parent by having the time to be involved in my kids lives? hint hint?)
So, I've got an interview tomorrow, and am submitting 3 new applications in pretty diverse fields and locations. Wish me luck!

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side discussion:
my wife and I discussed it and we (I think it was we) came to the conclusion that since she has a job and we have a house- which won't sell for near original value in this market.. that it would be silly for me to search for a job too far away, forcing her to find a new one... it only switches whose job hunting and adds the cost of moving plus the loss on the sale. Now, obviously if I had an opportunity that was far greater elsewhere, we'd pursue it, but since our earning potential is pretty comparable... trading who's out of work doesn't make much since? right? thoughts?
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